Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Pregnant and Handicapped

I never expected to get pregnant naturally because of PCOS, so this was a welcome surprise. However, for those that don't know, I was in a car accident (t-boned while going through an intersection) 17 months ago that crushed my left femur and pelvis and broke my right pelvis in multiple places. I spent 4 months in a chair unable to walk or put any pressure on my left side. Another 6 months just trying to get my left leg to start regrowing muscles so I could walk again. And the last 7 learning how to walk with a cane and do things for myself on my own.

I was already overweight pre accident, but the months of sitting and steroids made me balloon up. I see a MFM because of my weight, but also out of fear of how my pelvis is going to adapt to pregnancy and giving birth. I have a femoral rod and pelvic plate with a bolt attachment. My right pelvis never completely healed because of needing a side to put pressure on.

I'll admit that I'm starting to feel really overwhelmed and worried about giving birth and then caring for a baby by myself. I try practicing things like getting our of a rocking chair while holding a doll or carrying things while holding a doll, but nothing seems to work right. I have my husband and my mother lives with us after being my caretaker for so many months, but I want to be able to do this and feel like I'm being a mom.

I know I can't be the only one who's ever gone through this, but hormones and my love for Jellybean make it so pressing and daunting sometimes. I know that once Jellybean gets here, it'll all become second nature, but there is something about the long hours of the night that make you think and over-think all of these issues and fears...


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1 comments:

Aunt Terry said...

A wise friend said today, "Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best."

You are doing some things to help you learn to adapt to the situation. You will be fine. I will pray that your delivery goes well. Can't wait to meet your Jellybean!

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